


Peter is annoying and everyone is mean to Thor

by not_in_america



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, F, Gen, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), Group chat, HE IS, Hurt Peter Parker, I Love You, Irondad, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Peter is annoying, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Sorry Thor, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony is a dad, Twitter, apology work, but like, idk why loki is, loki is a little shit, ok, spiderson, this is old sorry, thor is dumb but doing his best, whatever, youre just not good with technology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-10-18 23:57:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17590868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_in_america/pseuds/not_in_america
Summary: The classic avengers groupchat/twitter prompt. Please tell me if you want more chapters! This is gay, chaotic, and just the usual.





	1. don't read this i don't like it

**Author's Note:**

> hey i'm so sorry for not updating i'm sick all the hecking time!!!! so this is sort of an apology. i found this drafted that i did years ago so i just posted it ig. enjoy this actual shit

actuallyspiderman @spideyMAN  
bro loki just got a twitter @thorsonofodin

thot @thorsonofodin  
@spideyMAN Really, Man Of Spiders? I Must Check This Out!

therealironman @TStark  
kid what the fuck have you done @spideyMAN

actuallyspiderman @spideyMAN  
what, mr. stark? i'm innocent?? @TStark

therealironman @TStark  
did you really think it was a good idea to make thor OR THOT??? a twitter? @spideyMAN

therealironman @TStark  
why the fuck aren't you answering me @spideyMAN

therealironman @TStark  
ur grounded @spideyMAN

i'll eat ur man @BlackWidow  
lmao harsh much he said he was innocent tony @TStark

actuallyinnocent @spideyMAN  
omg u got a twitter?! spiderbros!!! @BlackWidow

i'll eat ur man @BlackWidow  
nvm ground him @TStark

actuallyinnocent @spideyMAN  
HEY :( @BlackWidow

birb @coolbrosam  
rip spider-man #betrayed 

actuallyBETRAYED @spideyMAN  
newsflash: the avengers are grandpas and won't let me have fun 

Steve Rogers @captainamerica  
We are only doing what's best for you, child. @spideyMAN

dont let thor find me @powerbottomloki  
Sis let the kid have his fun @captainamerica

actuallyBETRAYED @spideyMAN  
omg hi!!!!!!!! @powerbottomloki

actuallyMETAGOD @spideyMAN  
also i'm not a child @powerbottomloki @captainamerica

don't let thor find me @powerbottomloki  
lmfao you literally are but go off i guess 

actuallyanadult @spideyMAN  
i'm gonna ignore the fact that you called me a child WHICH IM NOT BY THE WAY and appreciate that you know memes @powerbottomloki

how do i change my na @thorsonofodin  
I FOUND YOU💖💖💖 @powerbottomloki

don't let thor find me @powerbottomloki  
fuck

is this where you chang @thorsonofodin  
DONT GO IVE MISSED YOU @powerbottomloki

fucking shit @powerbottomloki  
how fucking sad @thorsonofodin

actuallygrounded @spideyMAN  
i can actually hear thor sobbing jesus christ @powerbottomloki

stop crying pussy @powerbottomloki  
truly a great tragedy. can i get an F in the chat? @spideyMAN

actuallygrounded @spideyMAN  
F @thorsonofodin

birb @coolbrosam  
F @thorsonofodin

bestdad @TStark  
F @thorsonofodin

actuallygrounded @spideyMAN  
omg mr stark @TStark

i ground kids @BlackWidow  
F @thorsonofodin

cooler birb @hawkeye  
F @thorsonofodin

scarletwitch @powersrule  
F @thorsonofodin

shuri bitch @gaymeme  
F @thorsonofodin

stop crying pussy @powerbottomloki  
i'm screaming y'all came here just to F thor i think he's crying even harder now 

thorsonofodin @thorsonofodin  
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN 

bruce @brucebanner  
F @thorsonofodin


	2. groupchat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gay rights

spiderman added: tonystark, itsshuribitch, powerbottom, wanda, Vision, bird1, betterbird, Thor, Steve Rogers, buck, Nat and Bruce

spiderman: howdy 

tonystark: no

tonystark left the chat

spiderman added: tony stark 

itsshuribitch: rt if cowboy cats would say meowdy

wanda: that's so valid 

Bruce: this is a group chat 

itsshuribitch: so

Bruce: i'm sorry 

itsshuribitch: you should be

itsshuribitch added: furry

furry: i'm not a furry

furry changed their name to: t'challa

spiderman: i mean technically...

nat: you're the one to talk 

nat: oh fuck 

spiderman changed their name to: buggy 

buggy: animal gang rise up 

nat left the chat

tonystark added: nat

tonystark: you're not getting out of this alive

Vision: Why am I here again?

buggy: cause you're cool

Vision: ok

Thor: What is a furry?

powerbottom: how long did it take you to write that

Thor: Could you please enlighten me, bottom?

powerbottom: fuck you

buggy: a furry, mr. thor sir is like a human that is an animal but not an animal?????? like they dress up as one????? i'm not really sure, i'm too scared to find out 

powerbottom: shut up buggy

buggy: i love you mr loki pls marry me

tonystark: no

buggy: you're not my dad!

itsshuribitch: ugly ass noodlehead

tonystark: wow what the fuck


	3. yeehaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm improvising what to write and honestly that is the way to go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so the first chapter has nothing to do with the others. i find myself enjoying writing the group chats much more. it's just gonna be there as an embrasser. so once again, gay rights

wanda: real question, who's bird1 and who's betterbird?

bird1: i'm bird1

nat: i'll slaughter you with my bare hands, clint

bird1: how did you know it was me what the heck

betterbird: one of us will have to change

bird1: begone sam

buggy: howdy y'all 

Steve Rogers: Aren't you from Queens?

buggy: i don't know how to explain to you mr rogers captain sir that the internet is from the south

buggy: also your name is fucking boring

buggy changed Steve Rogers name to: mr cap

buggy: you know what i'll change all of your names i'm having a global identity crisis 

buggy changed bucks name to: bucket

bucket: i don't know if i love you or hate you 

buggy changed powerbottoms name to: my hubby <3

my hubby <3: it's a she/her day today but i still love you babe

buggy: oh my god my bad

buggy changed my hubby <3s name to: my beloved <3

buggy: trans rights bitch

buggy changed tonystarks name to: father

father: kid these names are for everyone, i'm not everyone's dad

father: but i love it thank you

buggy changed itsshuribitchs name to: waifu

my beloved <3: cheater 

buggy changed t'challas name to: pink panther 

waifu: ilysm

buggy changed Thors name to: thunder thighs

buggy: man having to be y'all father is exhausting 

mr cap: We didn't ask you to change our names 

buggy: thought you liked them :(

father: look what you did

father: you made him sad

mr cap: I love them, buggy

buggy: :)


	4. why am i alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the same as usual, maybe a little more organized honestly i have no idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i am writing so many chapters in one day!!! enjoy while you can

Bruce: should I be happy or not that spiderman didn't change my name?

buggy: so sorry mr banner i had to sleep :( had a big exam today :((((((

Bruce: how old are you again?

buggy: 16

nat: wow okay no more swearing in this chat, we got a little child here

waifu: wow we're literally the same age

nat: oh god there's more 

buggy changed Bruces name to: ecological 

ecological: what the heck is that even supposed to mean 

ecological added: scott

ecological: look what a mess i've gotten myself into

scott: can i join the animal gang? 

buggy: heck yeah!!!!!! you're ant man right????

scott: the one and only 

waifu: i'm gonna kill t'challa so i become the black panther and join your shitty gang so i can make it better

pink panther: that's literally not how that works but ok

buggy: ok i'm gonna change the last few names!!!!!

buggy changed nats name to: spidermom

buggy: uwu

spidermom: amazing. i love you son

father: no what

buggy: you're still my dad don't worry 

scott: is spider-man tony starks kid????? what did i miss in the quantum realm

father: it's none of your business ok

scott: ok?????

buggy changed scotts name to: bugbro

scott: thank you :')

spidermom: the family is growing

buggy changed bird1s name to: unclebird

spidermom: i shouldn't have said anything 

buggy changed betterbirds name to: birdaunt

birdaunt: yo what the heck


	5. hungrhghg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> name changes and strokes

buggy: i should change my name as well

buggy changed their name to: 1930

father: n o

waifu: skskskskskaksisksksks mood

1930: i was physically born 2002 but will always be mentally born in the great depression 

waifu: guys 

waifu changed their name to: 1980

1980: i love 80's music because it brings me back to the good times

1980: like when i wasn't alive 

my beloved <3: never has something spoken to me on a deeper level than this

my beloved <3: also i don't really know anything about you except your name cause i've been dead but i love you shuri

1980: love you too bitch

1930: my two lovers are dating each other now. wow

father: please stop you're both like 14

father: also i have no idea how old loki is but i'm honestly too scared to ask

my beloved <3: oh worm. odin never fucking told me when i was born he just snatched me from  
jotunheim during this big whatever war but i guess i'm like 900 years old??????? honestly i have no idea

my beloved <3: but i'm also a god so i don't know how old that makes me in human years

1980: so i did my math and ig that makes you like 16-18??? but i don't know how that applies to you

1930: thank god for shuri i don't even know what 5 + 4 is

father: you have an A in maths you idiot 

1980: also what's your name???? spider i mean? 

father: his name is spider 

my beloved <3: so valid 

1930: it's peter

father: what part of secret identity aren't you understanding?????

1980: what up my name is peter i'm 16 and i never fucking learned how to listen to my dad

my beloved <3: hey pete since we're all having a mutual identity crisis what year should i be

1930: 0 B.C

1930: because you're god

my beloved <3 changed their name to: 0 B.C

0 B.C: is this what being loved feels like

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey before you make any assumptions, no peter, loki, and shuri aren't dating. i tagged this as gen. it's just friendly love


	6. hqjahajahahha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh oh sisters!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just meme references cause i'm tired from work

pink panther: why

father: that's what i ask myself every morning 

0 B.C: got called gay on midgård today y'all 

ecological: what happened 

0 B.C: i got called gay

ecological: yeah but why?

0 B.C: i was being gay 

thunder things: on midgård?

0 B.C: yeah it was on midgård

bucket: you're all monsters

1930: even me?

bucky: no not you peter you're wonderful

father: you haven't even met him

father: he's not as pure as he acts

1930: owo

father: see that? a disgrace. ily sm peter you really take after your dad

1930: uwu

father: s t o p

mr cap: Peter you're wonderful, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

1930: mr captain rogers sir, with all due respect, i fucking hate myself and would jump in front off a car if i had the opportunity 

father: the apple clearly doesn't fall far from the tree

1980: god what a mood pete

0 B.C: i love you peter and same 

mr cap: please stop

bucket: oh god you made him type in lowercase you done messed up

father added: rhodeytodey

father: look at all my children 

rhodeytodey: i fucking hate this name 

father: love you too


	7. apparently i have scoliosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why do i even summarize these even i don't know what's gonna happen

1930: oh fuck

1930: oh no

1930: no no no

bugbro: ??????

1930: i'm patrolling and,,,,,,fucking locked myself out 

birdaunt: i know it's like 2 in the morning but can't you call your parents

1930: they're dead lmao so no

father: we talked about this pete

1930: anyways i'd call may but she's working night and i really don't wanna bother her 

1930: need that cash money

father: i'll pick you up in five 

father: but why is everyone awake 

unclebird: living up to that username i see

father: go commit not alive

father: but why are you up 

birdaunt: why are YOU up??

father: insomnia but that's unimportant 

father: go to sleep or i'll sell all your tech 

1930: thanks for picking me up uwu

father: go to sleep 

 

 

0 B.C: it's pride month fuckers. trans & gay rights 

1930: i second that + bi rights

1980: lesbian rights everyone 

thunder thighs added: carol

thunder thighs: Happy pride to one of my favorite lesbians!

carol: who's the other 

thunder thighs added: val

val: hi

carol: i love you 

val: love you too bitch

bucket: what the fuck just happened 

father: gay fucking rights happened 

bucket: ok good


	8. Gay rights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally just as messy as the other chapters enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi it only took me all summer to update so this is super messy all of this chapter was written during like 3 months so 
> 
> also my scoliosis is such a bitch i am in big pain

0 B.C changed their name to: 666

666: u know that gay sadness,,,,yeah

val: that's what i call a mood

carol: when's our next date?????

val: was thinking friday

carol: can't wait. ily

666: hey what happened to my attention

666: literally the only reason i text but guess y'all are homophobic

666: listen someone better come validate me RIGHT NOW or new york WILL happen again

spidermom: did you even consider the fact that it's 5 am and that's why no one is answering

spidermom: even peter isn't awake at this ungodly hour

spidermom: go the fuck to sleep 

666: miss romanoff no offense but you absolutely terrify me great job 

spidermom: good.

bugbro: Does anyone want to raid area 51 with me? i don't want to go alone

rhodeytodey: I Am pretty sure Tony owns it.

bugbro: ok. Tony do you want to raid area 51 with me?2

father: you have to defeat the first 50 levels you Coward,,,

1980: please stop texting like boomers i am having a stroke

bugbro: Ok. Anyone wants Dinnerr??

bucket: i literally had the strangest dream ever i don't even know if i want to tell you guys about it

bugbro: I didn't want to hear it at first but now that you don't want to tell us, I really need to hear it

bucket: alright is everyone listening

1930: yes im here

bucket: kay so there was this big war and literally almost all of us died except like 7 of us

bucket: so they all fought to get us back which killed natasha but then we all came back and won the war which killed stark

father: i am offended that you assume i could ever die 

bucket: shut up and let me finish

bucket: and then stevie got old and i assume he died but my brain didn't give me much details

bucket: was a pretty vague dream, i was dead, which wasn't fun, unrealistic (we held a big-ass funeral for stark but none for natasha), steve was old and mean (i didn't like that) so like 4/10

1930: great analysis but i have one question: did i die

bucket: yes it was beautiful 

1930: thank you for saying that i will never speak to you ever again 

666: im very interested in what happened to the captain 

bucket: he went back in time and left me alone in this timeline which made me mad

mr cap: Buck you know I would never do that

bucket: you literally would but ok

mr cap: Not in this timeline 

bucket: I'm still angry 

mr cap: Sorry


End file.
